i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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