Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize