I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
