I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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