It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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