i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
