whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
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