party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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