He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
