I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
