If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
