you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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