I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
