At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
