I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
