And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
the raccoons are back...
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