this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
