i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
