How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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