i can't believe i had my finger in that
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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