you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
