i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
