some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize