Christians are straight up FREAKS
honey bunches of taint.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
