Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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