Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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