My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I think your dad took our porno
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
