you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
