i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
