Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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