i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
