He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
kristin has been a bad kristin
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
