i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize