you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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