You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
