there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
