yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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