i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
