Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
