Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
