I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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