I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize