That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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