first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just pee around me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize