I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Enjoy the penises
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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