It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Houston, we have a squirter
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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