i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
