I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
