i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
