I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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