Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
