We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
