I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
