i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
