don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
