drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
