I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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