sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
