I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
