I only kidnapped one of them. chill
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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