A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You need a sexual gate keeper
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
