I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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