i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
These tits shall not be calmed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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