Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i will never coherently bang her
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
