I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
