She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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