who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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