so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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