i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
