I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
