Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this boner is exhausting
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
