"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
