I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize