sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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