Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
