hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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