Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
