you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it because I queefed?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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