like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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