I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
