Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
