she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize