you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
