Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize