Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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