These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
