i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
