how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
