Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
